Blue

Somehow, things are not going as they should...
Or at least something still feels weird.

The weekend before last, we finally fixed up our balcony and had a party to celebrate the event - the balcony is ours again, goodbye pidgeons! I finally have my own herbs and especially my very own lavender (how I longed for that all these years!). Two different kinds of it actually. I go out to smell and stroke them every day (no kidding - I love my herbs and lavender).

I was sick for about 2 weeks, but since then I went to my one uni course, I spent a nice weekend in Carinthia with friends, I did some knitting and did some video gaming and had lovely sunshine streaming in through my big windows...
...but still something isn't right.

I even won a prize on the WR site (more about that later, when I have my camera back), and it arrived today! Yay! Beautiful!

But still, I'm really feeling blue. Confused, somehow. Something is missing. It can't just be that I need holidays, my job isn't that demanding after all. And it isn't just feeling lonely either, I suppose (lonely because the boyfriend is away from home for approximately 12 hours of each day, and even longer on Mondays ie today), because a) I could easily change that but don't seem to want to and b) even with people around me it doesn't properly go away.

On that weekend in Carinthia I was told that I needed to stop living to fulfill everyone else's expectations, and just live instead. This keeps bugging me. Since then, I keep on thinking about what it is that *I* really want, and trying to differentiate it from things other people might perhaps be expecting from me...which isn't all that easy. Currently I'm trying to recall things that, at some stage in my life, I really wanted to do, but didn't, because I thought (or knew) that someone close to me wouldn't like it. The best I've come up so far is that additional earpiercing (besides the two 'normal' earholes) which I thought I'd like to have 7 years ago...and never got. Would that be a good enough start?
But the question is, what else is there? Is it just other people's expectations which might be 'unhealthy' in some way, or my own as well?

And is that really all that is worrying me?

I guess it's just one of those phases.

Then again, there is so much I want to do, and so much I want to be.

Yep. Just one of those phases, then. :P

Not a good start

So, I fell ill last Wednesday evening. Wednesday afternoon I had given in to the lure of visiting the one 2nd-hand store I'd ever been in, and I found a number of lovely things (though apparently thrift stores aren't as thrifty here as in other parts of the world...); and there's actually not much I want to change about them but maybe a little...
But I can't, because I'm supposed to stay in bed, drink lots of tea, and give myself some rest.

So, WR, not a good start.
Missing first class of my one uni course this semester, not a good start.

At least I found a new doctor closer to my new home than my previous one, and she was really nice and lovely too.

Back to bed now, and back to my book.

Random Acts of Mending

The beginning of this WR run was, for me, marked by doing some mending (3 pants fixed and once again wearable! Ditto one jumper and a dress) and some finishing (weaving in ends on two scarves I knit, sewing the perfect button to my Calorimetry 2). I also pulled a few more refashion-designated items from my wardrobe.
What's on the line right now:

- Fixing, or having fixed, the very ripped and sad-looking lining on my once-and-for-always-favourite jacket
- Deciding about a couple of unplannedly felted wooly things
- Fixing the pocket on my winter coat (and anything else I might find wrong with it before putting it away - it's getting so much warmer!)
- I'd love to make a few simple headbands, if I find the right materials in my stash.
- And, of course, to continue knitting!

Not included in WR per se is jewellery, *but* I've finally begun to take apart the big bag of cheaply-sold beaded things which I got on Etsy more than a year ago, which I want to remake into things more suited to my taste (or that of my friends, whichever). I also grabbed a couple of necklaces (my own) which I had designated for remaking but now decided I still want to wear them as they are.

I wanted to write about something else, but forgot what it was. If a new post follows minutes after this one, so be it.

New Outfit

In my bid to finally get a three-column-blog, I found this beautiful template (via the usual internet routes...WR-other blog-nice template). I will probably customize it to death once I know how (different header, maybe different background, different colours etc), but the most important thing right now are those columns. :-*
[No idea why only a few links are displayed in beautiful purple and not all of them, I'll hopefully get it fixed somehow.]

Anyway, thanks go to these people:

for their beautiful (free!) blog templates.


On another note, the fates are laughing at me, at least a little - yesterday, my 2 month pledge began, and yesterday I go home to my parents and find the new Boden catalogue waiting for me. ;-( With 10% off until March 17. ;-(
Oh well.
Will meditate on this.

WR Pledge

I pledge that I shall abstain from the purchase of "new" manufactured items of clothing, for the period of 2 / 4 / 6 months. I pledge that i shall refashion, renovate, recycle preloved items for myself with my own hands in fabric, yarn or other medium for the term of my contract. I pledge that I will share the love and post a photo of my refashioned, renovoted, recycled, crafted or created item of clothing on the Wardrobe Refashion blog, so that others may share the joy that thy thriftiness brings!

I pledge in addition that, for the term of my contract, I will not buy new yarn or fabric, unless needed to finish a project.

***

List to get me started:

1) Mend some clothes (already put in a messy pile, waiting for needle and thread, and sometimes buttons)
2) Look through wardrobe for things to give away or refashion (already a few candidates)
3) Continue knitting like a war heroine!

Old news, new things

Old news are good news?

- I won Nano again. I even finished my story. And a couple of nights ago, my head solved a problem I had with the ending of the story, so I'm all motivated to go through the wholething again and make it a better one.

- I spent most of the time since Christmas which I was not working or lazing around moving in with my boyfriend. By now, all my stuff is here, my room at home has been taken apart and painted afresh so that my brother can move in, and I have finally MOVED OUT completely.
Now I just need to find a way to store all my craft supplies... :D


New things:

- I just messed around with my blog a bit, since I want to change things a little in the future, and while looking at my links, I decided to sign up for Wardrobe Refashion again. This will include:

Sorting through my wardrobe for things to give away
Sorting through my wardrobe for things to redesign
Finishing some of my knitting projects, which I was already trying to do anyway
Using up some of the fabric which I have amassed (people with *real* fabric collections would smile at my pile indulgently, but it's still too much for my current storing capacities) over the past few years

- I finally signed up for my PhD. :D I'll begin work as soon as my workspace here is cleared up, which will still take the putting up of a shelf and some serious reduction and sorting of paperwork. But - excited!

- My best friend, who finished her studies in October and has been searching for a job ever since (and received nought but nays) finally got a job she really wanted yesterday! I felt so happy for her, I spontaneously made her a pair of celebratory earrings, photos of which will appear soon.

- My head is simultaneously playing around with 3 or 4 story ideas, and has been thus for the last few months. In a time not too far away, I will start to put them onto paper.

Hmm...

[Of course, I meant the Lambchop "Romp" CD, not Stomp, geez, how tired wasI? :P]

I have no pictures to show, but we had a suprisingly nice weekend, considering it was the beginning of November. Instead of wallowing in warm water for most of Saturday, we decided to skip this part until next weekend, and rather went for a nice walk (up the hill, hot chocolate, down the hill) and then into the sauna his parents own. After that, we had wonderful dinner. What more could I want? :D

Today we went to see an exhibition about vikings in the town my boyfriend is going to work in from tomorrow onwards. He also showed us (his family and me) where he was going to work exactly, and then we had another lovely dinner. Geez, so much food! Those people always feed me with such wonderful stuff, and I can't tell my mum any longer, because she gets frustrated, heh. ;)

My Nano text (I'm not calling it a novel yet, that would be hubris. :P) has reached the 3k mark, which is ok - I think I will write a lot more tomorrow when I WILL be alone and it WILL probably be late at night because there is such a lot of ironing to do, bleh. And there will be tea. I need to keep focussing on the tea. ;)

Good start into the week everyone!

Here we go again

Last year, my novelling attempts died on Day 1, since the long weekend was spent away from keyboard and proper novelling attitude (alone, late at night, surrounded with tea and snacks). This year, I will do better! I WILL write this year's story. No matter if it turns out as stupidly misled as the one of 2006. This year, it will be good. :)

Fingers crossed.

*****

In other news, I finished my studies in the middle of September, so am now officially a university graduate. What am I doing currently? Thinking about what will come next. Planning when and how to move out (get my own flat? Move in with boyfriend? Wait for good friend to come back from Peru and get a flat with her? My money is on option 2 ;D). Getting rid of a lot of useless stuff (clothes I will never wear again, books I will realistically never, ever read etc). Listening to Lambchop's "Stomp" CD (all the cover versions they ever did in the last 10 years). And drinking a lot of tea. Tea is good. Tea makes everything better.

I also want to give this blog a little revamp and then post more often. Let's see how that one goes. ;)

But first of, I'm off tomorrow for the weekend, because the boyfriend starts work (REAL work, 8-10 hours a day, 5 days a week, not mentioning the commute) next Monday, and we wanted to celebrate the occasion. Probably the last weekend in the coming 3 years where he will NOT be exhausted. ;)

Another quiz, and then, soon, something new!

Which Scrubs Character Are You?

More on In Case of Emergency. Created by BuddyTV

Discworld Quiz

Which Discworld Character are you like (with pics) created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as The Librarian You’re the Librarian! Once a wizard, now an Orang-utan (due to an unfortunate magical accident), you refuse to be turned back for a few reasons: In this form, it’s easier to reach the shelves and hold more books; having the strength of five men makes people return their books on time; life’s great philosophical questions boil down to “when do I get my next banana?‿ You say “ook‿ but are usually understood well enough. The Librarian 69% Carrot Ironfounderson 63% Gytha (Nanny) Ogg 63% Lord Havelock Vetinari 56% Commander Samuel Vimes 50% Death 44% Greebo 44% Cohen The Barbarian 38% Esmerelda (Granny) Weatherwax 38% Rincewind 31%

Wohoo!

Last week, out of a need for indulgence, and to sort of reward me for almost finishing my diploma thesis (just waiting for some corrections by my supervisor now, and then...), and because I received an email about it of course, I bought all the available back issues of Interweave Knits in their big Back Issue Sale. And wohoo - today the box arrived! It's sitting there right next to me on my bed, waiting for me to open it, and do nothing but browse through them for the next couple of hours. ;)

Also, yesterday my boyfriend finished his degree - and today my sister returned from her study year in France. Really, is there any reason I should NOT be smiling?

:D

I know what I did last November

I finally managed to get my photographic problems solved, so I can write about some of the great things that I did.

On the 11th of November, I went to Linz with my lovely friend Kris. Where we had some lovely cake and hot chocolate













courtesy of the lovely Sue - and afterwards we went on to a different café where we met some more wonderful people, and I took fancy photographs of lights and ceiling.














Shortly after that I visited a friend of mine who was doing an internship in Maribor (in Slovenia, to the southeast of here). These days she's working in South America. Amazing girl, and the friend I've know for longest (21 years! Believe it or not!). We drank lots of tea at her place, had a walk around town,













and drank some more tea in this most amazing little place.













The world over my teacup....













Yes, those are tiny randomly patterned plates and cups hanging from the ceiling! Too amazing!

And then, on what was I think the last weekend of November, I went with a group of people to spend a weekend in a castle

















and watch movies, discuss those movies, and take a long walk in somewhat snowy woods.













I loved this rendition of the castle reminding me of the 70s or 80s:


















And this lovely old stone tower in the fog (it was November, after all!):


















But most of all I loved the view we had from our window. This is what it looked like on the first evening:













What a great way to spend the most dreary month of the year!

Things...could only get better

And so they have. :)

Soon, very soon, more interesting stuff than me being happy about written progress (oh, and an all-over clean bathroom etc). Some pictures would be nice for a change, and so we shall have pictures. Soon.

It took months, but I think I'm getting into it now. Three pages today, which may not seem a lot, but every page counts...and this is the most I've written on a single day in the past few months.

So now I'll shut off this thing and read. And go to bed at a sensible time. ;)

Conquest!

So...

Last night I had a hard time falling asleep. My aunt and great-aunt had been to visit for the evening, and I had a talk with my aunt about my thesis, and my job, and future work possibilities.* Anyway, lying in bed, feeling full even though I had only had one meal (it's all those eggs, I swear, blargh), I tossed and turned and almost panicked. I don't really know why, it just all seemed too much for some reason (again!). Anyway, after some tosses and turns, I decided the following: The next day (ie the 25th, Tuesday) I would do the following:

1) Clean up my desk so there is some actual workspace.
2) Finish the one subchapter I have been working on for the past 2 weeks (faaar too long!)

And then, only then, would I be allowed to read, knit, or visit my boyfriend.

Well, I woke up, and of course I spent my morning doing nothing in particular, and my early afternoon (until around 6pm to be honest) playing an online game with the boyfriend to cheer him up after what seems to have been a nasty day at work. But then...

Yes, then I cleared up my desk and wrote the 2.5 pages it still took to finish that subchapter. I finished 5 minutes ago. Not much time now to read or knit, and no more driving over to you know where as well, but hey. It worked. I'm all amazed.

It wasn't easy. So many distractions. I sorted through some clippings today and suddenly remembered my not-yet-used-but-much-dreamed-about favourite online clothes store, and then spent ages staring at the beautiful things that they have. Then there were the sweets I got for Easter, and boy, did I eat a lot of them. And of course, those mounds of paper waiting to be sorted everywhere around me. And mental blockades. And tiredness. And this stupid "I don't WANT to write!"-feeling. But, in the end, I overcame all of this. Especially the mental blockades. Especially this stupid urge to use loooots of detail when absolutely unnecessary. Detail is good in lots of things, but not in short, summarized introductions to certain topics.

Anyway, it's almost 1am now, but still, I think I deserve a little reading. ;)

(And thanks to everyone who cheered me on in the last few days. It helps! And it makes this girl here a very happy one.)

*We both agreed that my future lies in video game translation. Tehee.

Avoidance issues get unexpected help

I currently spend much more time knitting than working on the big pile of books sitting here to my left. Not good.

Finding sites like Ravelry and then signing up for them is even worse.

But the worst bit? Surfing it for hours and daydreaming about knitting ALL day without doing either any knitting NOR any uni work, ie doing NOTHING at all but staring at a computer screen, or eating another Easter lunch.

This will have to stop. And it will stop tomorrow. Hmph.

New things, or Change is Good

So...

I thought a lot about changing the colour of this blog lately. Somehow black doesn't really cut it anymore. I don't know whether the current pastel theme will stay, but hey - doesn't it look nice and lovely and like spring is finally here?

Also - I got my job. Can you believe it? First application, first interview, and there you have it. Hah!
I think it's going to be nice - even though I always thought I'd never ever want to work as a secretary. Well. ;)
This job is for 2 years, which is perfect; and I'll be working only Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and only until early afternoon as well. This means I'll have free time/study time left and can even go to the one seminar on Friday. Perfect. Perfect!

And with my thesis, I think I'm not as desperate anymore as I was the last few weeks. I think the end of writing the first chapter (stupid theoretical stuff, brrr, but necessary) is in sight, and after that it should be a breeze.

Don't you just love it when suddenly everything starts to work out?

:D

Relief and belief

For years I thought how nice it would be to find a hobby which would give me some break from the neverending reading and thinking that my course of studies requires. I always thought I would love to do something with my hands - and sometimes I did, buying some clay and making simple figurines, or dreaming about a career in woodworking (which I still haven't tried), or I did some minimal drawing, some minimal painting, and sometimes some sewing. Very little of each though, since none of them seemed to really work.
But finally it seems as if I found my 'thing'. I taught myself how to knit last year- after several failed attempts from schoolteachers, female relatives and my best friend - from a book (Debbie Stoller's Stitch'n'Bitch, which seems to have done the trick for countless others), and ever since then I've been at it - not very much at first, but in the last few months it's grown somewhat in importance. So much so that some of the most fun I have is browsing knitty.com and some knitting blogs and dreaming about all the things I will make someday.
The best thing is, it really IS nice. I'm still at a very basic level, but I do get a lot of satisfaction from knitting nonetheless. To see how a piece grows row by row is very nice indeed, especially if you're used to just wondering whether all your studying has actually been good for something. It's also very relaxing - nothing better for a break from the computer than knitting a few rows (or taking a walk, of course, but lately I've been lazy in that respect :P). I can ALSO listen to audiobooks if I want to, and I've received quite a few of them lately (I especially like the Emily Dickinson poetry collection at the moment - beautiful!).
Knitting is also highly portable, easily stored in a small space (...ignore the masses of yarn...ignore...ignore...), AND intrigues my boyfriend! Perfect!
So, knitting. My relief from all the thinking work. How good to have finally found you. :)

I actually rewarded myself today by buying some new yarn and my own pair of 4,5mm needles (I try to wean myself from my mom's ones). What did I reward myself for? Well! I survived my first ever job interview! Admittedly, the people who interviewed me made it REALLY easy for me, so the talk in itself was actually a sort of reward, but hey. I even told them that currently the main thing I do in my free time is knitting...

I: So what are your hobbies? What do you do in your free time?
B: *laughs* Not much right now...
I *laughs* (very nice person, did I mention that already?)
B: Well, I always wanted to do something crafty as a relief from studying, and...this may sound weird, but currently the main thing I do is knitting...
I: *both laugh* This doesn't sound weird at all! (B thinks "Mhhh!")
I2: Mhhh yes, sock knitting...

=> See how these people made it easy for me? Why I'd really like to work there (besides the secure job for 2 years and great working times and the wonderful general work - for example, on better energy sources for the future etc - and attitude of the institute concerned)? I did my best hoping for them to invite me to be interviewed and now I will just believe, and trust, and believe some more that they will actually take me.

Relief. Belief.
*knitting needles and fingers crossed*

Oooh, another!

What better to do at night? Again, I found this on Dy's blog.

Here are the rules:
1. Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you
2. Post THE RULES on your blog
3. Post 7 weird or random facts about yourself on your blog
4. Tag 7 people and link to them
5. Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged.

Ok, seven weird facts. I've done this before, but I guess there are loads more weird things about me!

1. I'm an extraordinarily messy person most of the time, although I would love to have it otherwise. Then, sometimes, I get wild urges to clean everything and make everything nice. I wish these would last a little longer. :P

2. Many find this to be weird, though I do not: I love videogames! I played Nintento games when I was small, and am now an avid Playstation fan. I don't get to play much, but I just love those games! (RPGs, for those who care.)

3. I tend to put an early alarm, then switch it off as soon as it rings, and sleep until midday. A very bad habit which I is sadly very persistent.

4. Fruit-flavoured tea without lemon and sugar makes me feel sick. I mainly drink tea with nothing in it but tea, but this is an exception (as is chai, but only because it is supposed to be like that).

5. Back at school I used to write letters the length of 10 pages or so to my best friend who went to the same school, class etc, and who I saw everyday.

6. I hate hairdryers. I love to let my hair dry naturally, even though that makes me look like Tina Turner, just with longer hair. :P Although, sometimes I get these really nice waves...but then, sometimes not. Weird hair!

7. The ayurvedic idea of drinking hot water in the morning actually is one of my favourite things to do when I get up.

I hope this is weird enough, as I didn't think about it much, just wrote down what came to mind. Maybe I mentioned one of these things before, but I guess that doesn't matter too much. ;)

Also, as I do not know that many bloggers, I'll just tag everyone who reads this. Enjoy!

Nice Meme

Here's a nice meme I found at Dy's Blog. It requires one-word answers, which makes it nice and short. ;)

One Word
1. Where is your cell phone? backpack
2. Your significant other? close
3. Your hair? washed
4. Your mother? curious
5. Your father? overworked
6. Your favorite thing? happiness
7. Your dream last night? horrible
8. Your favorite drink? tea
9. Your dream/goal? artist
10. The room you’re in? mine
11. Your ex? grah!
12. Your fear? drowning
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? world
14. Where were you last night? holiday
15. What you’re not? overambitious
16. Muffins? any
17. One of your wish list items? books
18. Where you grew up? here
19. The last thing you did? unpack
20. What are you wearing? little
21. Your TV? on
22. Your pet? none
23. Your computer? laptop
24. Your life? good
25. Your mood? fine
26. Missing someone? sister
27 Your car? none
28. Something you’re not wearing? bra
29. Favorite Store? Borders?
30. Your summer? varying
31. Like someone? loads
32. Your favorite color? blue
33. When is the last time you laughed? dinner
34. Last time you cried? week

So, that's it. I guess one could put loads more questions here, but these are the ones that were on the list, so here you go. If anyone feels interested in doing this, let me know!

All about...fibers and more

I'm being lazy and don't want to work, but I'll have to soon. In the meantime I did the Pottercraft fiber quiz. Apparently I'm angora.

Says on the site: "Angoras are eager to please and are highly sensitive. Flexibility and adaptability are your strengths and sometimes your weakness as well. You are essentially a warm and feeling person, and little escapes your impressionable mind. You are generous with others and strive for harmony in your relationships."

No kidding, eh? They're telling this to the girl who a) cried because her boyfriend made lovely breakfast for her because it's Valentine's Day and b) cried while *he* read *her* card (crazy, eh), and then some more because it was all so lovely. I really should stop this crying business. :P

I hope you all have a great day as well!

Btw, I'll be on holiday next week - not that it matters much concerning posting, but still. Hey, holiday! :D