Nano - Halfway Update

Hey everyone...

Let me tell you, this is not what I expected this Nano to be like. I wrote much the first day, quite okay the next few. Then I was already behind by day 4. Then two people close to me told me that maybe I should focus a little more on work and my PhD instead of going crazy again and writing until 4am and all that stuff that I usually do every November. I defended myself and said something about me not doing any proper writing all the rest of the year and whatnot, and that this was my time, and...
And then I wrote nothing for almost a week. Not a word. And not much in the days immediately before that break. And then, yesterday, I was, what, around 17000 words behind wordcount at halfway point, (ie I should have had 25k, and I had 8408...hahaha).
But today I decided that I really felt shitty about not writing. I felt hollow and sad and like it didn't make any sense. This was not the November feeling I was used to. Novembers should rightfully be filled with a crazy sense of purpose. Nevermind the 'crazy' part. That's what it is partly about. Though 'purpose' does also sound nice, doesn't it?
So I just wrote 4000 words, and tomorrow there will be more.
I cannot not write, now, can I?