Things...could only get better

And so they have. :)

Soon, very soon, more interesting stuff than me being happy about written progress (oh, and an all-over clean bathroom etc). Some pictures would be nice for a change, and so we shall have pictures. Soon.

It took months, but I think I'm getting into it now. Three pages today, which may not seem a lot, but every page counts...and this is the most I've written on a single day in the past few months.

So now I'll shut off this thing and read. And go to bed at a sensible time. ;)

Conquest!

So...

Last night I had a hard time falling asleep. My aunt and great-aunt had been to visit for the evening, and I had a talk with my aunt about my thesis, and my job, and future work possibilities.* Anyway, lying in bed, feeling full even though I had only had one meal (it's all those eggs, I swear, blargh), I tossed and turned and almost panicked. I don't really know why, it just all seemed too much for some reason (again!). Anyway, after some tosses and turns, I decided the following: The next day (ie the 25th, Tuesday) I would do the following:

1) Clean up my desk so there is some actual workspace.
2) Finish the one subchapter I have been working on for the past 2 weeks (faaar too long!)

And then, only then, would I be allowed to read, knit, or visit my boyfriend.

Well, I woke up, and of course I spent my morning doing nothing in particular, and my early afternoon (until around 6pm to be honest) playing an online game with the boyfriend to cheer him up after what seems to have been a nasty day at work. But then...

Yes, then I cleared up my desk and wrote the 2.5 pages it still took to finish that subchapter. I finished 5 minutes ago. Not much time now to read or knit, and no more driving over to you know where as well, but hey. It worked. I'm all amazed.

It wasn't easy. So many distractions. I sorted through some clippings today and suddenly remembered my not-yet-used-but-much-dreamed-about favourite online clothes store, and then spent ages staring at the beautiful things that they have. Then there were the sweets I got for Easter, and boy, did I eat a lot of them. And of course, those mounds of paper waiting to be sorted everywhere around me. And mental blockades. And tiredness. And this stupid "I don't WANT to write!"-feeling. But, in the end, I overcame all of this. Especially the mental blockades. Especially this stupid urge to use loooots of detail when absolutely unnecessary. Detail is good in lots of things, but not in short, summarized introductions to certain topics.

Anyway, it's almost 1am now, but still, I think I deserve a little reading. ;)

(And thanks to everyone who cheered me on in the last few days. It helps! And it makes this girl here a very happy one.)

*We both agreed that my future lies in video game translation. Tehee.

Avoidance issues get unexpected help

I currently spend much more time knitting than working on the big pile of books sitting here to my left. Not good.

Finding sites like Ravelry and then signing up for them is even worse.

But the worst bit? Surfing it for hours and daydreaming about knitting ALL day without doing either any knitting NOR any uni work, ie doing NOTHING at all but staring at a computer screen, or eating another Easter lunch.

This will have to stop. And it will stop tomorrow. Hmph.

New things, or Change is Good

So...

I thought a lot about changing the colour of this blog lately. Somehow black doesn't really cut it anymore. I don't know whether the current pastel theme will stay, but hey - doesn't it look nice and lovely and like spring is finally here?

Also - I got my job. Can you believe it? First application, first interview, and there you have it. Hah!
I think it's going to be nice - even though I always thought I'd never ever want to work as a secretary. Well. ;)
This job is for 2 years, which is perfect; and I'll be working only Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and only until early afternoon as well. This means I'll have free time/study time left and can even go to the one seminar on Friday. Perfect. Perfect!

And with my thesis, I think I'm not as desperate anymore as I was the last few weeks. I think the end of writing the first chapter (stupid theoretical stuff, brrr, but necessary) is in sight, and after that it should be a breeze.

Don't you just love it when suddenly everything starts to work out?

:D

Relief and belief

For years I thought how nice it would be to find a hobby which would give me some break from the neverending reading and thinking that my course of studies requires. I always thought I would love to do something with my hands - and sometimes I did, buying some clay and making simple figurines, or dreaming about a career in woodworking (which I still haven't tried), or I did some minimal drawing, some minimal painting, and sometimes some sewing. Very little of each though, since none of them seemed to really work.
But finally it seems as if I found my 'thing'. I taught myself how to knit last year- after several failed attempts from schoolteachers, female relatives and my best friend - from a book (Debbie Stoller's Stitch'n'Bitch, which seems to have done the trick for countless others), and ever since then I've been at it - not very much at first, but in the last few months it's grown somewhat in importance. So much so that some of the most fun I have is browsing knitty.com and some knitting blogs and dreaming about all the things I will make someday.
The best thing is, it really IS nice. I'm still at a very basic level, but I do get a lot of satisfaction from knitting nonetheless. To see how a piece grows row by row is very nice indeed, especially if you're used to just wondering whether all your studying has actually been good for something. It's also very relaxing - nothing better for a break from the computer than knitting a few rows (or taking a walk, of course, but lately I've been lazy in that respect :P). I can ALSO listen to audiobooks if I want to, and I've received quite a few of them lately (I especially like the Emily Dickinson poetry collection at the moment - beautiful!).
Knitting is also highly portable, easily stored in a small space (...ignore the masses of yarn...ignore...ignore...), AND intrigues my boyfriend! Perfect!
So, knitting. My relief from all the thinking work. How good to have finally found you. :)

I actually rewarded myself today by buying some new yarn and my own pair of 4,5mm needles (I try to wean myself from my mom's ones). What did I reward myself for? Well! I survived my first ever job interview! Admittedly, the people who interviewed me made it REALLY easy for me, so the talk in itself was actually a sort of reward, but hey. I even told them that currently the main thing I do in my free time is knitting...

I: So what are your hobbies? What do you do in your free time?
B: *laughs* Not much right now...
I *laughs* (very nice person, did I mention that already?)
B: Well, I always wanted to do something crafty as a relief from studying, and...this may sound weird, but currently the main thing I do is knitting...
I: *both laugh* This doesn't sound weird at all! (B thinks "Mhhh!")
I2: Mhhh yes, sock knitting...

=> See how these people made it easy for me? Why I'd really like to work there (besides the secure job for 2 years and great working times and the wonderful general work - for example, on better energy sources for the future etc - and attitude of the institute concerned)? I did my best hoping for them to invite me to be interviewed and now I will just believe, and trust, and believe some more that they will actually take me.

Relief. Belief.
*knitting needles and fingers crossed*